While I was a student, there were friends I made who helped in my academic journey. The truth of the matter is, if not for those friends at some points in my journey, I would have failed. They did a lot in my life through their words, their advices, encouragements and motivation. There were times I never felt like reading until they came up and ensured I did. I won’t also forget how I would have missed deadlines for important assignments if not that they followed up on me as through they were my parents who sent me to school.
Did I forget to tell you that I was one of the most intelligent and highly respected students in my class? Of course, but that alone would not guarantee my thriving and doing well. My approach to friendship and the kind of friends I kept in my inner circle made that happen. What is your own approach to friendship and what kind of friends do you keep?
Right approach to friendship as a student
Love is a necessity but association is a choice
You need to understand that while everyone deserves to be loved and you can’t afford to hate anyone for any reason, it’s totally a matter of choice when it comes to who you want to associate with. Association is not forced on anyone. You choose who your friends are. They don’t choose you.
Birds of a feather flock together
Before thinking of friendship, you must have a picture of where you’re going and what you want your life to represent. No two persons can walk together without sharing some common values, interests and compatible personality traits. This is very essential because friendship is a bond and forming that bond with someone who has got similar values, interests and personality will help to avoid excessive frictions and hurts.
An undefined friendship will end up getting you defiled
A lot of students have silently walked into romantic relationships without knowing how they got there. This is because friendship was not defined. Before declaring someone a friend, you need have the friendship defined. Is it just for academic purposes? Will the person just be a study partner? Is it just for talent development? Perhaps he/she is coaching you on how to sing better. You need to know the boundaries of the friendship
The lubrication of every relationship is value-exchange
Never be in a friendship where there is no exchange of value. You must always ask yourself two questions in a relationship which are:
- What value is this person adding to me?
- What value am I adding back to him/her?
Now, you need to understand that money is not necessarily value. So, it must not be in terms of money, but there should be some kind of advantage, benefits or substance that both of you are adding to each other, be it in cash or in kind. It must be tangible and measurable.
Who are your friends in school? What value are they adding to your life which has a positive futuristic impact? Have you tried looking at the results their lives are producing and asked yourself if you’re really proud of those? Are you aware that calling someone a friend simply means, giving the person a permission to influence your life with their words and their lifestyle? Look at your friends again and ask yourself, ‘are their lifestyles and results worth emulating?’ Each time you spend with them, do you live better than when you met?
You need to be very intentional about this aspect of your life because it determines how far you will be able to go in life. I remain your clarity coach and your clarity remains my priority.